The boy has been feeling a bit unsettled for the past few weeks, sometimes waking up at 4 or 5 am and ready to play or just do something. My wife and I have made a plan to slow things down around him and give extra support where we can without trying to push our agenda too much beyond the basics (food, play, bed time, wake up time, general hygiene).

I don’t know if he’s been feeling my own stresses since I was laid off (I certainly have been doing my best to keep that away but you know, kids, they really see this shit). I’m guessing some development milestones happening too. He has amazing vocabulary but expression is a challenge for him (honestly since he was a baby).

I’ve probably applied to around 75 jobs so far, have had lots of support from former colleagues and friends in the form of referrals and connections. Rejections are starting come in, others just ghosted it. Really is what it is and I just keep myself away from the pressure that can sometimes build (not always successfully).

On the drumming front, I had thrown out my back about a week ago and it’s only yesterday and today that it is starting to feel more normal. I managed to practice these past 48 hours and have been concentrating on repeating the same patterns over and over, changing only the dynamic. My hands and feet are able to play things these days that years ago caused mental struggles (and therefore physical manifestations of those struggles), but I’m super happy about how much I have progressed and without the distractions that can come with being part of a band or something. I do miss playing with other musicians, but all in due time I suppose.

Right now, I just wish for my boy to work through whatever is causing his feeling unsettled and supporting him by being close to both he and my wife.